Yesterday was my husband’s birthday. Our daughter and her husband came for a weekend visit to help him celebrate. That’s why I’m late with this post.
We didn’t actually have a party. I did arrange a family get together for him on his 70th birthday. That was a lot of fun because all the kids and grandkids were here along with some of the siblings and their families. I love family get-togethers, don’t you? I didn’t get anything like that organized this year.
It’s harder to get all the family together on the same day now that the grandkids are older. Some of them are married. Some are off at school. Some are busy with things teens and young adults are busy with. Darrell did get to see several family members while he was in the hospital last week, but that’s not a fun way to get visits. So, maybe I will organize a family gathering later this year.
“I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure that I’m arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.” —J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
I found this quote when I looked for quotes about a long marriage. It’s fun. Perhaps that is what two people are doing when they meet and fall in love. It wasn’t very difficult for Darrell and I to find each other. We were both still young when we met. I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. We didn’t go to the same school, but we lived in the same county. We still live in the same county. Just together in the same house now. 🙂 We’ve been together many, many years.
“Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up, she’s there. You come back from work, she’s there. You fall asleep, she’s there. You eat dinner, she’s there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not.” —Everybody Loves Raymond
Raymond has it right, I think. At least, right for the two of us. We’ve spent some days and nights apart when one of us was on a trip without the other one. Or a lot of time while I was sitting with my mother in her last years. But we always came home to be there for the other one. Maybe we followed the good advice of these following quotes.
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash
“In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf.” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” ~Diane Sawyer
The art of knowing when to say something and when to be quiet can make things run smoother in a marriage. Not that I’ve always been perfect at that, but I guess we are both good enough at shutting up, being a little deaf, and trying to win the generosity contest to have made it through a lot of years together.
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” ~Simone Signoret
I love this next quote. I think it’s certainly true for Darrell and me. Those tiny threads of family times, sick times, well times, working together on the farm, sitting side by side in a church pew on Sundays, meals together, vacation times, and so much more bind us together. We’ve watched our kids be tied together with their spouses with their own tiny threads, and now we are watching our grandkids find that special someone and start spinning their own marriage threads.
What do you think it takes to have a long marriage?
Comments 25
Commitment & trust. Lots of laughter.
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I like the lots of laughter and smiles, Lisa.
kindness, consideration and understanding and at times patience 56 years for us
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I love hearing about all these long marriages, Eve. You both must have practiced those things you mention to have 56 good years together.
Love, forgiveness, and compromise. We were married for 53 years.
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Love, forgiveness, and compromise is excellent things to remember in a marriage. Fifty three years is a good long time, but I’m sure you wish you could have added on a few more years together.
My husband and I have been married 41 years. We’ve had fun times, stressful times, unexpected events, adventurous moments, angry moments, moments of joy and wonder!In the midst of all these times and moments, Jesus our Savior was holding us together, strengthening us, comforting, and loving us! He is the One who gave us to each other!
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What a good accounting of your years together, Lauren. As the years pass the moments add up and make a mosaic of your life together. I hope you have many more years of adventures to enjoy.
A lot of patience!
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That’s for sure. On both sides.
I have always loved this quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding! “The man is the head of the house, but woman is the neck and the neck turns the head!”
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That is a good one, Bonnie. I’ve also heard something about how God took the rib out of Adam’s side so that the two could be side to side in life.
My parents celebrated their 60th anniversary last year.
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That’s a great milestone to reach as a couple. My husband and I have celebrated our 60th too. That’s easier to do when you marry young the way we did.
Love the quotes, especially the one from Ogden Nash.
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There are plenty of times when the best thing to do is shut up, Chris.
The Lord and prayer!! Also, tolerance and understanding. Being willing to be wrong, even when you’re not. And, accentuating the positive things about each other, rather than the negative things (that we all have). My hubby and I have been married almost 56 years and it’s worked for us.
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Sounds as if you have a clear view of the right way to live that adventure of a long marriage. I like your comment about being willing to be wrong even when you’re not. I have to admit that’s not always easy for me. But I have learned that sometimes it’s better to just let whatever it is slide away and be forgotten.
Thank you for sharing about marriage and for displaying or more accurately living a long married life with ups and downs and challenges and joys. I love these quotes especially, like you, the last one about threads. I think about threads that hold quilts together and yarn that twists and turns to form a beautiful piece of artwork— bringing comfort, beauty, and togetherness.
I think it takes commitment and courage, faith and a whole lot of grace for a marriage to last. My husband and I will be married 38 years in July and it’s taken a lot of grit and humility and lots of adventures together seeking God as our hope and our strength. I pray for many more years of togetherness to come.
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I do hope you will have many more good years with your husband, Janet. I think sometimes it just takes acceptance that not everything will be easy but that whatever comes, the two of you are still joined in marriage.
I like your thoughts about quilts. You much be a quilter. Quilts are works of art and at the same time so useful in homes. Especially in years past when people made their quilts for practical purposes, but often still tried to make them beautiful.
Although I’ve quilted a blanket I’m not really a quilter. Just more of a crocheter. But I love the analogy that quilting provides but crocheting also brings about its own analogy for living too.
I love all of these quotes! They are all so appropriate for someone who’s been married to the same man for over 57 years, and even though I can’t top them, I certainly believe that having God as the 3rd member in our marriage has certainly been the deal-sealer! I would be lying if I said it’s all been fun but remembering those vows spoken before God made it worth the effort. Now that my husband and I are in the Winter season of our lives, we know that those fine threads may soon be broken. This is when having God as the third partner will be the most precious time of all.
Happy birthday to your husband!
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May you have more happy years together, Connie. But you are being realistic about the idea that one of you, the same as my husband or me, will go on over to the other side and leave one behind. Having that strong faith connection will be a comfort and strength at that time.
Commitment & good communication between each other! You can’t just talk to each other but you have to listen & try to understand what the other person is really saying! My husband & I have been married almost 58 years ( 8/24/68).
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Wonderful, Betsy. Listening is so important in a marriage. Congratulations on your many years together and I hope you have a lovely anniversary coming up soon.