Sister Talk under the Covers

Certainly as an actor, half of your work is not going to end up on the screen anyway, because in the editorial process, they need to cut to the other actor in the scene. Very often, your best work ends up on the cutting room floor, because it just doesn’t work with the overall narrative drive of the story. ~Hart Bochner

I know you’ve heard how films are edited and sometimes scenes end up on the cutting room floor. Well, there’s a cutting room floor for novels too. In the process of editing, whole scenes can be chopped out of the story when the scene isn’t necessary or slows down the action or is redundant or maybe because there are just too many words. That happened to several scenes in my book, The Pursuit of Elena Bradford. 

In the story, I liked the times when Elena and Ivy shared moments as sisters and became closer while they were in Graham Springs. The following is a scene between them that ended up on this book’s cutting floor. But I saved it to share it here just for fun.

Elena and her younger sister, Ivy, are sharing a bed at the hotel. And as sisters sometimes do, they did some whispering under the covers to keep from waking their mother who was asleep in the other bed in the room.

But then Ivy didn’t say anything for a long moment.

Elena tried to prod her. “Mr. Frazier told me that you posed for a painting.”

“I did. He is the nicest man. You should call him Kirby. I think he likes you. Did you see how cross he looked when Dr. Graham had Mr. Harper accompany us up to our room instead of him? Not that Mr. Harper isn’t very nice too, and I noticed how you called him Andrew.”

“Mr. Frazier.” Elena emphasized the name. “Mr. Frazier is not on Mother’s list of potential husbands. The man is as poor as we are. Poorer perhaps.”

“Mother and her plans. She needs to pray and trust the Lord.”

“What? To rain down money on us?”

Ivy actually giggled. “That’s what he did for me. Sort of, anyway.”

“All right. Maybe you should start at the beginning.” The air was moist under the cover. Elena lifted a corner of the cover to take a breath.

Ivy didn’t seem bothered by the absence of fresh air. “You know I went to the baths with Mother. Then Mother went to sit on the veranda, and I came back here. Mother’s ink and quill were on the desk so it seemed a sign I should write a letter to–.” She peeked out from under the cover at their mother in the other bed before she scooted back down beside Elena. “Well, you know who.”

“So, now you need to send it.”

“That’s the best part. You know how you said we might find coins on the pathways?”

“Yes.” Elena didn’t add how unlikely she had actually thought that might be.

“I did. I found a penny. I know that’s not much and I really don’t know how much a person needs to pay for mail delivery.” When Elena started to say something, Ivy cut her off. “I remember that you said the person who gets the letter has to pay the delivery fee, but I worried that whoever got the letter you know where wouldn’t do that.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“I don’t know. They might not have any money or his father or mother might be like Mother and not want him to like me. All kinds of things might happen, but they would have to accept it if the delivery fee was already paid for, wouldn’t they? Anyway, I thought the penny was a good sign. An answer to prayer, because I did pray. I’m praying for you too about finding the right person to love and for Mother and for the twins. And for you know who too.”

Elena flapped the cover a couple of times to bring in some air. She never liked her head covered up and now with the happenings of the day so fresh in her mind, she felt more out of breath than usual. “Maybe you should wait and tell me the rest tomorrow.”

“I’ll be quick.” Ivy started talking faster. “You already know about that Southworth lady and the ducks and how she threw her reticule at them and got duck droppings on it. I washed it off, and she took it even though she didn’t want to. But she shrieked and ran toward the hotel when I tried to give her the coins that must have fallen out of her bag.”

Ivy sounded excited as she went on. “Big coins. A half dollar, a couple of quarters, more pennies and dimes. I tried to give it to her. Really, I did.”

“I see. You have the coins now and you want to find a post office. Is that it?”

“That’s the best part. Mr. Frazier said one of Dr. Graham’s men was going to Lexington to get supplies and some more paints or whatever for him. He said the coins would be enough to convince the man to take the letter to well, you know where.”

The sister talk was more than was needed in the story, but I liked it. I thought you might too.

Do you like to see movie outtakes or read edited scenes?

Newsletter Winners

I picked the winners for my recent newsletter giveaway. First place winner of the Christmas globe and one of my books is Elizabeth A. The second place winner who gets a choice of one of my books is Shelley B. I sent both of them an email. I heard from Shelley who lives in Florida right away. She wants one of my Frontier Nursing midwife stories, either These Healing Hills or An Appalachian Summer. She wants me to pick which one so she can be surprised. That she likes fun surprises. I suppose don’t we all?  I hope to hear from Elizabeth soon.

I plan to do a giveaway here on One Writer’s Journal in December. You might win a book for Christmas. So, watch for more details to come.