A Letter to Mom

Ann H GabhartAnn's Posts, One Writer's Journal 6 Comments

Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.  ~Author Unknown

I miss my mother. She moved on up to heaven eight years ago, but I don’t think you ever stop missing your mom in some deep inner spot. My mom had a good life. She was a good mom. A loving mom. The best mom I could have had. And so this morning, when our preacher said we should write our mothers a letter and how that would be even better than a phone call, I thought why not. I can’t send it heaven express, but I can still write it. So here goes.

Dear Mom,

You’ve been gone from where I can see you face to face for a good while, but you are still with me every day. You live in my thoughts and my memories. Sometimes when I look in the mirror and see my face, I see you. An expression perhaps. A lift of the chin. Something that makes me see how maybe after all these years I might finally loook like you. I always wanted to. You were so pretty, but I never thought I did. At least until now when I catch those glimpses in the mirror. It took age to reveal that resemblance, I suppose.

But looks aren’t an important as what’s on the inside. I want to be like you that way too.  I want to be kind and have a servant’s heart the way you did. I want to be adventurous and try new things like you did with all those trips you took to this or that country. You deserved the chance to see the world and you weren’t afraid to grab hold of that chance. You never sat around feeling sorry for yourself even  when maybe you could have.

You never complained about having to work hard as you helped Dad on the farm. You didn’t complain about the old farmhouse that let in the winter wind and had a roof that leaked. You just put on an extra sweater and found buckets to put under the leaks until Dad finally found a way to fix the roof. You were ready to bottlefeed the lambs when for whatever reason its mama wouldn’t let it nurse. When somebody was sick, you were always ready to help.

From you, I learned how to work. Maybe not without a few groans and complaints, but I knew I was expected to do my part. You raised a big garden and we all pitched in to pick whatever was ready to pick and then spent some together time capping strawberries, breaking beans, pitting cherries, peeling tomatoes, shelling peas or whatever needed doing.  I helped pluck chickens. I cut up meat to make sausage when Dad killed hogs. I stirred the kettle of lard over the fire. I learned the food on our table took time and effort. But we never had to worry about going hungry.

I learned the pleasure of a cup of hot tea from you. I discovered my love of reading from our trips to the library. When I audaciously started writing my first book at age ten, you didn’t laugh. If I thought I could do it, then so did you.

Best of all, I always, always knew how much you loved me and that while you might not let me get away with any nonsense, you were ever ready to help me. When I married so very young and had a baby not long after, you were there to help me. You encouraged me. You never said I was too young even though you surely thought I was. Thank you for that and for so much more that I could never name it all in one short letter.

And thank you for singing hymns in the kitchen while you were cooking. A sweet memory.

Thank you for your gentle, yet fierce love. You would have done anything for me, but the best thing you did was to let me find my own way even when you might have been holding your breath not sure I could navigate this or that stretch in my life.

Thank you for believing I could be that writer I so wanted to be, that mother I needed to be, that woman I could become.

Your loving daughter.

What would you tell your mother if you wrote her a letter? 

 

 

 

 

Comments 6

  1. Ann, I loved reading your letter. A fine tribute to your beautiful Mom.
    My Mother recently transitioned to heaven on April 19 at almost 91 years of age. I often told her, in those later years, that I loved her and admired her devotion to her family and the Lord; but the one thing I didn’t tell her was how much I was going to miss her (I didn’t realize just how much until she was gone). So that is the first line in my letter to her–I miss you so very much. You were and are such a big part of my life. There is a big part of my heart that is reserved just for her . . . she’s imprinted so much of herself there

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      Thinking of you about your recent loss of your mother’s earthly presence, but it’s good that you know where her next home is. I think we do often not tell those we love that we appreciate and admire them as we should. Good that you did that for youir mother. And I’m not sure any of us know how much we will miss our moms. In my case with my mom, she had Alsheimer’s in her last years, so I did know how much I missed her even before she passed on since she forgot so much about our journey together. But I did walk that hard road with her even though she eventually didn’t know me.

      That I miss you so very much is a great first line in your letter to your mothers. We do keep them forever in our hearts even as I knew, even when my mom forgot who I was, that somewhere in her heart, I was snuggled in tight.

  2. Beautiful! I would tell my precious mom how much I miss her and her prayers especially when I am struggling and her warm hugs, biscuits, and birthday cakes.

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      All those things sound like much to miss, Lucy. I too miss my mom making a favorite dessert for me on my birthday and of course, the ready ear to listen if things weren’t going well and the encouragement all the time.

  3. This touched my heart. Thank you for sharing your loving words. I, too, will write a letter.
    My little mama was a French warbride. She went to Heaven 7 months ago in our home as I held her hand, stroked her hair, and smoothed on favorite lotion, Amazing Grace, sang hymns, and read the Bible her last day on Earth. What a privilege. Yesterday I had a lump in my throat most of the day to hold back tears. I planted a rose bush to add to her memorial garden in my back yard. So many emotions. I am blessed with these memories.

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      So sorry for the recent loss of your mother, Sharon. That first Mother’s Day without your mom is always a hard one but then each Mother’s Day brings those special memories. Sounds as if you were the very loving daughter she needed beside her when she moved on up to heaven. And a memorial rosebush sounds a perfect way to honor and remember her. Each rose will bring special thoughts of her. I’m thinking she had many stories to share with you about her life.

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