The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Yesterday was the birthday of my first child, a boy. His birth changed everything for me. I was no longer a teenage with nothing on my mind other than friends at school or how many new books I wanted to read. Marriage had already changed much of that, of course. But being in the family way as the older folks used to say back when the word pregnant was not quite accepted in mixed company, means that sooner or later (and you generally hope sooner during those last weeks) that baby is going to be born and make you a mother. I was very young when I transformed into a teen mother. Only seventeen when my son was born. But age doesn’t make a mother. It may make a more mature mother, but a baby makes a mother.
I was actually a mother from the very first moment I knew my baby was growing inside me. I didn’t know then that baby would be a boy since they hadn’t come up with those machines that let couples know boy or girl long before they hold the baby in their arms. In those days, prospective parents brainstormed for boy and girl names to have one ready. Now expectant moms and dads start calling their babies whatever name they’ve settled on when the baby is still months from being in their arms.
There was always plenty of conjecture on whether you would have a boy or a girl. Some people claimed if you were carrying the baby high, it would be a girl. Low, a boy. Others even tried some kind of trick to find out with something, a coin or whatever, tied to a string. Then somebody would suspend the string over the belly of the mother-to-be. If the coin swayed back and forth it meant one sex and if it swung up and down the other. I don’t remember which was which or whether it ever accurately predicted the baby’s sex. I guess it had a fifty fifty chance of being right. But back then to really find out the baby’s sex, a mother had to wait until the doctor said those sweet words, “It’s a boy” or “It’s a girl” as you heard the first warbling cry of your baby.
But while I was ready to hold my baby, I do remember trepidation at the thought of the birthing. I didn’t know what to expect and I was scared of that unknown. When the first labor pains started, I went to my doctor who told me to wait awhile before heading for the hospital. First babies take a while, he said. So I waited with no idea of how to judge when that right time to go would be. Thank goodness my mother was with us to give advice and with my husband worrying more with each minute that passed, we finally headed to the hospital. At that point, I was ready to back out of the whole thing or at least wait till morning. But one thing sure, you can’t back out of having a baby or put it off when it’s time.
And it was time. While the nurses and doctor thought it would be a while, my baby said he didn’t want to wait to discover the wonders of the world. A few hours after I got to the hospital, my son was ready to make his entrance into the world. I still remember my first look at him. He was crying, not happy with the rude bright lights of the world, but he was beautiful. And he made me a mother. Once you take on that title, it sticks. Forever. Your kids go from babies to toddlers to teens to adults, but you never stop being a mother.
Even years after those kids have left home and have their own families, you don’t stop being a mother. A different kind of mother for sure since you often have to lend help and support from a distance. You still want to give advice but sometimes you have to stop yourself from giving unwanted advice. But you keep on rejoicing in your children’s triumphs, grieving over their sorrows, hoping for their futures, and loving them no matter how long it’s been since they were that baby in your arms. And of course, remembering them in prayer.
I am so blessed to be a mother and now a grandmother too. So, happy birthday to my son and happy new mother’s day to me. It’s been a while. My son has five of his own children now, one of them already married and another getting ready to go off to college. The years seem to go by faster and faster. But no matter how many years go by, I’ll never forget the sweet sound of my first baby’s cry which let me know he had made the journey out into the world with plenty of lung power. A good thing.
Thanks for reading.
If you have children, what do you remember about becoming a mother for the first time?
Comments 12
I love your story of motherhood. I, too, was a young mother and it was as miraculous as you describe. I had to laugh about the string trick and other supposedly gender revealing tactics in those days, and the carrying low and carrying high business! I also had to laugh about your comment about being ready to “ forget the whole thing” and come back in the morning! My son was born three weeks early and when my labor started, I just thought I had a really bad back ache. I even went shopping with my mother, who kept saying “Are you sure you’re alright?”, as I grimaced and groaned. I just kept saying it was a back ache! He did take his time , but he finally emerged, and as you say, my life was transformed forever, in such a profound and wonderful way. We went on to have another son and daughter, and now have seven grands and two greats. Wouldn’t have missed it for all the world.
Author
Love it, Lynda. Thanks for sharing. Good thing your little guy did take his time or you might have been one of those mothers on the news having a baby in the dress shop or wherever. I too love being a mom. There are definitely gray hairs moments but then plenty of smile moments too. I have nine grandchildren and so far no great grandbabies, but one of my granddaughters is married. So it could happen. 🙂
Beautifully written. Thank you! I’ve always felt so blessed to be a mother. My husband loved being a dad to our three from the first day he held them. Now they have families of their own and the years have flown by.
Author
I’m right there with you, Fern, in how the years have flown by and how much my husband and I loved being parents. We had our times when things got a little stressful during those growing up years, but we always found a way to handle whatever came our way. With the Lord’s help. Always, with the Lord’s help.
I was a young mom too, just barely past my 18th birthday when my son was born. I didn’t feel too young, though. Motherhood came naturally after a houseful of younger siblings. My youngest sister is only 5 years older than my son. No ultrasounds back then, but I was convinced it was a girl. Mostly because for 5 generations in my family, the firstborn was a girl. Hahaa…fooled us all! We still had our 5 generations, which made my great-grandmother happy, but there’s that one sweet boy in those 5-generations photos. Three years later my daughter arrived….(quite speedily and at home, but not by choice!)….and we finally had our photo with all girls. She’s named after her great-great grandmother.
Now my oldest son is 43. He and his wife met in 9th grade, married soon after graduation and getting ready to celebrate 25 years together. But it seems like just last week he was stretched out in the dirt, enthralled with watching ants build an anthill, and just last week he was playing little League.
Sigh…they grow far too fast!
Author
So true, Lavon. We do remember their childhood days. My youngest son and his wife just celebrated their 25th anniversary. I feel blessed that all my children found spouses to love and hold dear as the years pass along.
I met my husband when I was in 9th grade, but he was three years older and a senior at the time. I don’t know that I’d say it was love at first sight, but it was definitely attraction and neither of us looked at anybody else after that.
I don’t remember being sure about whether I would have a boy or a girl. I was a little anxious about knowing how to take care of a boy since with sisters and no brothers and two nieces, I didn’t know much about boys. But nothing like a boy baby in your arms to change that.
Glad you got your 5 generation pictures. Don’t think we have much chance of ever doing that since right now, we can’t even do a four generation picture. 🙂
Never had a baby come that fast, Lavon. I do remember worrying that I wouldn’t get to the hospital in time since everyone said the second baby always came faster. Not true with my second baby. She took her own sweet time and I was at the hospital in plenty of time.
Becoming a wife and mother was something I wanted from a very young age! My husband and I went to the same school and church. My mother always said he would be the man I would marry and of course I thought that was crazy because he was 4 years older than me. Well he graduated and was going to go to the service so he asked my mom if I could go out with him and she said yes with a lot of rules! I waited for him all through my high school years and when he got out of service I was graduating and we married in 1961. We had a son on Christmas of 1963 and another in 1966. We had 57 wonderful blessed years, we had two sons, 3 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. I lost my love in 2017 and my world hasn’t been the same since, but God did bless me with sons who take care of mom. God gave me a wonderful precious family and I thank him daily for that! He is wonderful! Thanks for letting me share this! Your the best! I love your books. God bless you Ann!
Author
Thank you for sharing, Fran. I love hearing others’ stories about their families and life. Sounds as if your mother knew the man for you. Mothers can sometimes know things even when we don’t know how.
I know how you miss your husband but it’s good that you have the memory of his love and your years together. It is a special blessing to have a loving family.
I do appreciate you reading my stories, and thank you for your prayers.
My first baby will be 22 in exactly 3 months from today. I don’t know where the years went. I had that mothers “intuition” that he would be a boy, even before the ultrasound said so. I had to be induced, so no rushing to the hospital. There was complications and he wasn’t breathing when he was first born and had to be given oxygen, but thankfully, was okay quickly. He was my 9lb 9oz gift from God. He is still such a blessing, but I still see and miss my baby boy when I look at him. Also-the idea that the second baby is easier was totally disproved by our daughter-our son took 5 and half hours to be born and she took almost 14 hours of labor and was much tinier at 6lb 6oz. They had induced me again, this time 3 weeks early and I guess she just didn’t want to come out yet! 🙂 It is truly a gift to be a mother and is a job that never ends-not that we would ever want it to. 🙂 Happy Birthday to your son!
Author
He was a big boy, Hope. My biggest baby was my last child, a second son who weighed in at 8 pounds. And I was like you in that my daughter was slow about coming. A lot of hours laboring before she decided to brave the outside world.
We do miss having those sweet little toddlers wanting to snuggle in our laps or hold our hands to take us on adventures to witness them discovering the world. But it is a blessing to walk with our children through every season. I know you’ll be celebrating with him on his birthday.
Becoming a mother was the most wonderful gift in my life. I had a miscarriage and wondered if I would ever have a child but along came my first child 2 years later. It was not without problems however and I still remember praying that all would go well with the second pregnancy. We had RH negative blood problems and these days you don’t even hear of problems but back then it was very dangerous and many babies died with the issue. My son is now in his forties and he probably doesn’t realize what a gift he was even though I remind him often.. I have also a second son who didn’t have any such problems. Life is good!!
Author
I’m so happy that you did get the gift of children, Elaine. I do remember when the RH negative blood problems were talked about often. Not sure what the difference is these days, but maybe they’ve found a way to take care of the problem earlier in the pregnancy. I’m glad your son came through okay and I know you were happy not to have to worry about those same problems when your second son came along. As you say, life is good!