Missing Mom on her Birthday

Ann H Gabhart Ann's Posts, One Writer's Journal 4 Comments

Celebrating Mom’s birthday!

Mom (on the right) and her sisters, Evelyn and Margaret
Mom and me and my dogs

Mom and her grandkids
Monday the 16th of March is Mom’s birthday. The first birthday I haven’t been able to celebrate with her. She’s gone on to heaven where she doesn’t have to worry about getting older and where every day can be blessing filled. Mom would have been 95 if she had made it to this day. She did not. She passed on last July. Mom always said she wanted to live to be 100. She almost made it. 
Mom with my sister and her granddaughters
She had a hard way to go those last few years after dementia stole her ability to remember. That’s not something I’d wish on anybody. And certainly nothing I wanted my mother or us, her family, to go through. My mother was a very determined woman and so when dementia made her think she was still a young woman who needed to be taking care of her children or cooking for her husband or sometimes being so young that she needed to be home with her parents, then she could not accept that she couldn’t go out the door and do what she thought she needed to be doing.
Mom and a great granddaughtr
But now if I can push those last unhappy years aside, I know how much Mom loved life and how much she loved her family. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. And I was very fortunate to be her daughter. What a blessing to have a mother like her! She made sure we learned right from wrong. She encouraged us in whatever we wanted to do with our lives. She loved us even when we were not exactly lovable. 
Mom and another great granddaughter
In her more aware moments in those last years she would say she was tired and ready to give up living except she didn’t want to leave us. Family meant so much to her. She meant so much to me. I miss her! 
Mom loved our family reunions
I know many of you have had to say goodbye to your own mothers or fathers. You’ve told me how much you miss them. How you wish you could have a few more days to walk beside them and hear some of the old family stories again. You’ve told me how you carry them with you in your hearts. Our mother’s voice is the first voice we heard and her words will forever whisper in our thoughts. 
So happy birthday to my mom. I won’t get to give you a hug on your birthday or buy you flowers. But I will remember all the beautiful things you’ve given me. Life and joy and the wonderful knowledge of your love. 
Do you have or did you have a wonderful mother like that?

Comments 4

  1. Nancy Vance

    Today is my father's first birthday in Heaven as well! And, he would have been 95, just like your mother. And I do miss him, so much. He died last April 18, so it's been almost a year. Now that both he and Mom are gone, I'm missing both of them more and more. Not to the point of being upset, but I just can't get used to the idea that they're no longer around. It's a lonely feeling, this not having parents. I've heard it said that you're always a child as long as you have a parent living. If that's true, I'm not anyone's child anymore. *sigh*

    1. Post
      Ann H Gabhart

      Except a child of God, Nancy. We can always cling to that. Your dad and my mom shared a birthdate and so surely experienced some of the same kinds of life experiences, living through the depression and WW II. I do miss Mom but she wouldn't want to be back and still suffering from the confusion of dementia.

  2. Melanie Backus

    Your post is beautiful, Ann. Tomorrow will be a day filled with a variety of emotions, a day never to be forgotten. Your mother was a special lady and so are you. I am so fortunate to have my mother and daddy living one mile from me. My mother is struggling to heal from back surgery and it is not easy to watch. You just want your loved ones to enjoy good physical and mental health but it doesn't always work out that way. My mother has always been a good example for me and I am so thankful that God was always and still is first in our lives. I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day for you.

    1. Post
      Ann H Gabhart

      Thanks for your kind words, Melanie. So glad you are near your parents so that you can share your life with them and they can share theirs with you. I hope your mom feels better soon from the back surgery. Summer's coming and I know she'll want to be up and going strong by then. My sisters and I painted the last part of Mom's house today – the garage. Guess that was a good thing to have us together on Mom's birthday. But we're glad to be through painting now.

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