April 1, 1965
Jocie Brooke here reporting from Hollyhill, Kentucky. It’s April Fools Day. That means I’ve got to be on the lookout all day for people ready to pull pranks. Especially Wes.
Wes says they invented April Fools Day up on Jupiter and the first Jupiterian who visited earth started it up here back in the 14th Century by issuing a warning about these creepy looking Jupiter bugs that were invading from outer space. Wes said nobody expected this fellow of being one of those outer space invaders himself but that they went around examining bugs all day, especially weird ones like that one in the picture. People started thinking they’d never seen that particular bug before and that it was going to poison the water and eat up all the plants. A lot of bugs that didn’t scurry under a rock got stepped on as April Fool panic broke out. That Jupiter prankster had to make a fast exit out of there. But he forgot to take his Jupiter bug and so its antennae have grown really long as it tries to find the spaceship to go home.
Wes says not to worry. The bug lives on air so the earth is not really in danger or anything, but then he’ll tell me I have one of them in my hair. I know I don’t. I know he’s pulling a joke, but I always feel little feet walking around on my head. Wes thinks it’s extra funny when I start hitting at my head. I always have to laugh too. That’s the fun of April Fools Day. As long as the joke isn’t mean. I don’t like mean jokes, do you?
Dad hunted one of the pranks from the past years up to report on in the Banner. I helped him look through old newspapers and magazines. We found this one about the Yenom Tree in the VIEW magazine from a couple of years ago, 1963. The story reveals the existence of the Yenom Tree, a “rare perennial” owned by Mrs. Loo Flirpa (better check that out backwards) of Appleton, Wisconsin, which sprouted “Bright, green one-dollar bills with uniformly high serial numbers.” In an unusual mutation, this year the Yenom Tree had also sprouted a “flawless five-dollar bill.” Mrs. Flirpa had entered into “an exclusive arrangement with the United States Mint to sell Yenom tree seedlings through a system of greenhouses to be operated through local offices of the Federal Reserve System.”
Dad said that sounded like a handy tree to have around and so he’s running the story today in the Banner. He says nobody in Hollyhill will believe it, but Zella says we’ll get a ton of telephone calls of people wanting to know how to get their own Yenom Tree. She says she’s not answering the phone all day and that if Dad thinks that’s an April Fools joke, he’d better think again.
Do you know any good April Fools gags? Have you ever had any pulled on you? Well, watch out for that Jupiter bug crawling around on your head.
Oh, and by the way, somebody says Scent of Lilacs is free if you have an e-reader. I have no idea what that means. I think it must be a message from the future. But they say it’s no April Fools joke. Whatever they’re talking about, free sound good!